A perspective after a year... "Stronger"

Last year at this time, I was often depressed.  I was about two months into a new job, which had 3 months of training.  I thought I was ready to take on new challenges, and since this job was better pay I was excited.  Training well prepared me for the job, but I knew it was going to be difficult working with families that did not want me there.  But about a month into training a co-worker of mine made the environment even worse.  She became hostile, when I tried to address her attitude toward others and training.  I felt like I was in the corner of a classroom some days.  Adding to that my husband and I had recently welcomed a friend into our home as he is finishing up school and could not find a place.  So I often came home crying and had two people look at me like they didn't know what to do because they didn't work with me, and killing with kindness is easier said then done with a hostile person.  Why don't we add one more thing to my plate that was happening a year ago?  My husband and I decided to go off birth control and were anxious to get results, but after a month of no period and no results, I was drowning farther in sorrow. Took me awhile to share this.

One afternoon driving home from work, I was almost hysterically crying, and Mandisa's song "Stronger" came on the Joy FM.  It helped a lot, but looking back at the song again today, a year later, it is so very very true.

I have put more and more faith in God, and have surrounded myself with great people that are encouraging.  After I had negative pregnancy test results, I had trained to tell myself that it will happen when God plans it to.  The more you say something, the more you believe it to be true.  If I had become pregnant right away, my husband would have lost his job to an injury that he would have not received surgery for due to finances and having a baby coming soon.  Fortunately I was able to return to a work environment that had positive people and gave me a flexible schedule.  So I was able to have free time to join small group and was able to care for my husband after his surgery.  We then struggled with finances post surgery and me working part time, but God provided us with a business and a team of people that wanted to continue to help us to grow in Him, and make money.  And now I am also being blessed with a full time job, but still have the time to pursue God in small group and attend business meetings for our journey to freedom.

Today I participated in the JoyFM's share-a-thon as a Thank you to God and them for always showing me that there are greater things out there and that next year I will be "Stronger"

Handing it over

When you give yourself to the Lord you are supposed to give all yourself.  This is difficult for several people.  Last week I mentioned how I've been praying for the Lord to make me less selfish, and I thought it would result in me living for others...  But the result has been slapping me in the face and says to LIVE FOR THE LORD!
Earlier this year when I had a lunch date with God, He kept pointing out that humans are flawed, and not to put your trust in them.  So why would I live for them.
Hubby and I have been reading Crazy Love by Francis Chan, and he puts it in terms that more people can understand.  He explains in the second chapter that this world is more like one big movie for God, and a person can be seen as an extra in the movie.  As an extra with a .5 second clip of yourself, would you tell everyone that the movie is all about you?

I need to wake up in morning and get things accomplished.  When I do, I feel so much better about myself.  But I have come to find out I can't always be motivated myself, and nothing else really motivates me.  So why not wake up and live a full life for God, because that's what He truly wants.

Well, I am a woman

Often I make up excuses for myself, one being that I am a woman.  Why do I make this an excuse?  Because my mind runs around like crazy and I get emotional almost out of nowhere.  But I know making the excuse only enables me more.  I have read too many books lately that want me to be stronger and I do want to be stronger and I want to put more faith in God.  My church has been going through 21 days of prayer, and this is the last week of prayer.  I have found one thing from my time of prayer and from my business lately...  I am a selfish person. =/  My prayers and days the past week or so have started with me saying don't let me be selfish today. 

Well this week has been full to the brim.  I drove probably over 1,000 miles in a week.  Got work done, met my new neice, visited a future business partner, and had a night with our business team to celebrate the new year. (Yes the new year). 
This weekend I noticed more of the new person beginning to grow in me.  I finally cleaned up the office some and worked on some projects.  I stopped myself at least twice from going into a downward slump with my negative thoughts that pop in my mind.  And I'm realizing that I need to go back to a person I thought wouldn't make it far in this world, because honestly she did fine, it was the other people around her that wouldn't make it in this world. 
GO ME!!!!